I had a mild panic attack yesterday and since then I feel like I just can’t catch my breath, it’s driving me fucking crazy
I just want to thank you guys who left me a note on my post this morning. It has been an extremely difficult day and I am really struggling but your kind messages mean so much to me.
*I don’t know how to do a read-more on mobile so just know everything below here is a personal post don’t reblog, etc.*
I have never in my life had a worse or more upsetting experience with a man. So you reconnect and hit it off with someone you haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time. Do you:
A: tell them interesting things about your life, relationship status, job stories any other information that someone might need when they’re deciding if they want to get personally involved with you, etc.
B: WAIT UNTIL RIGHT AFTER YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE TO TELL THEM THAT YOURE MARRIED AND HAVE A CHILD. OH BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE YOURE A SWINGER AND YOUR WIFE IS FRIGID AND SHES TOTALLY BEEN COOL WITH YOUR OTHER MISTRESSES. GEEZ WHY ARE YOU SO UPTIGHT? MARRIAGE IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT AND HOW CAN YOU EVEN BE MAD YOURE NOT MARRIED SO YOURE NOT CHEATING ON ANYONE. Why are you still pissed? Hang on let me blab on about how an open marriage is a more enlightened one and everyone just wants to be wanted. Please keep fucking me SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU MAD?
guess which one I slept with tonight ding ding fucking ding
I even asked him before we decided to hook up if he was fucking anyone else and he said no. And according to him isn’t even a lie because his wife has a medical condition and can’t have sex. And through all of this I let him make me feel like maybe I’m the one with the problem when I fucking know damn well I am not. Why the fuck do I let people do this to me.
I feel like an absolute piece of shit. And not like the shit that you would make the effort to take the shoe off and rinse in the sink. I’m talking about the tiny bit of shit that you just scrape on the next available curb.
I’m exhausted but I don’t want to sleep in this fucking bed. I don’t want to go to work in the morning I just want to wallow in my utter patheticness.